Small Ways to Brighten Stressful Workdays

Being busy at work is a good thing, but being I-can't-eat-luch-because-I-have-an-85-page-deck-due-tomorrow busy is not.  Long work days can make anyone feel sluggish, burnt out and depressed. Us New Yorkers know it all too well.  But, are there things you can do to feel better when work is just not slowing down? Of course.  Here are a few small pick-me-ups you can do to keep you sane.

Pay it forward.  

You may be having a shitty day, but rest assured there is someone else having a worse day than you.  Doing a small act of kindness can not only change someone’s day entirely around but be good for your soul.

Check off something from your personal list.

We all have that personal to-do list that keeps growing rather than shrinking.  When I feel stressed, I look at my personal list and find time to cross the smallest thing off.  Even setting up your doctor’s appointment can calm anxiety.

Take a 15-minute walk.  

Sitting down for long periods of time has been compared to smoking: it can kill you in the long run.  Go outside and breath some fresh air.  Your sanity will thank you for it.

Beautify yourself.  

Makeup has been scientifically proven to lift self-esteem and I don’t find it hard to believe.  Even the smallest of treatments can make someone feel prettier.  Mani, pedi, eyebrows and even a face mask at home can feel perfectly indulgent.

Call someone you care about.  

Being busy makes me feel like I am losing touch with the people that matter the most.  To help you stay grounded, find the time to call someone you care about from your past.  An old friend, cousin, mom, dad, grandmother.  I’m sure any of them would be ecstatic to hear your voice on the other end.  

Catch up on ZZZs.

Do not turn on your computer and go right to sleep after work (if you get in late, of course). Chances are you’ll sleep better and will have more energy in the morning.  Take at least a day a week and go off the grid for a night. 

Plan a trip.

Living in the present is the single most important thing you could do in your life, but nothing is more exciting than experiencing something new. Planning a trip is a great way to see light at the end of a tunnel, regardless of how long or narrow that tunnel is.  It can be as small as a weekend getaway or big as a trip to Machu Pichu.  And you don't need a boyfriend either.  A good friend with a similar travel mentality is all you need.

What about you? What pick-me-ups have you used to improve your mood?

F4T: Why You Should Stop Looking at Suki Waterhouse's Instagram Account

The other day I saw one of those "stylish lifestyle" sites posting about the Instagram accounts we should like totally follow.  I went to look who they were.  Oprah? Obama? A designer? A cool stylist?  Nope.  Just a bunch of models that only took selfies of themselves, every day at multiple hours of the day.

I asked myself, why would I want to saturate my feed with pictures of possibly narcissistic women with unattainable beauty? In case you don't know, selfies have been linked to mental disorders, including narcissism.  We are drawn to beautiful things, case in point the existence of Pinterest, but it is that aspirational mentality and "I wish I could look like that/have that/buy that" that really affects happiness.

Acceptance of self is formed by a multitude of factors.  The way your parents treated you when you were young, your friends, early relationships, failures and successes. But what you pay the most attention to, place your mental energy on, will ultimately have a deep impact on you, whether you consciously know that or not.

So, choose the people you follow on social media wisely because they may be doing more than providing mindless entertainment.

It's Friday: El Poder de la Mente

Ayer estaba hablando con mi mama de una idea que tengo pero le dije que no sabia por donde empezar.  Los recursos, el dinero.  Nada lo tengo.  Mi mama noto la frustración en mi voz y así enganchamos el teléfono.

Hoy me amanecí a un link de un articulo con las simple palabras: Cree en ti mismo.  Aquí te dejo con las palabras mas resonantes de el articulo:

Cambia tu Manera de Pensar

El tema de las creencias es uno de los pilares del éxito. La idea siempre es la misma: cree en ti mismo antes que nada o nadie.

Por lo menos ten la astucia de cuestionar tus creencias. Tal vez creas que el mundo ya está definido y que tú ya estás definido, pero detente un poco a considerar todas esas cosas que las personas no creen que puedes hacer, las cosas que tú mismo no crees que puedes hacer, las cosas que todo el mundo cree que nadie puede hacer; y revisa si esto es un hecho, si es verdaramente una realidad o si, por el contrario, es una idea, que como un virus, se ha extendido demasiado.

Toda está en la actitud y en la confianza que tienes en ti mismo. Todo está en lo que pienses. Tal vez te acercas al espejo y sólo puedes ver un cuerpo pequeño, una cara fea o una persona insegura; pero tienes que comprender que esa es una elaboración de tu mente.

Finalmente, no pienses que tus deseos son descabellados. Incluso tus sueños más grandes son posibles, de alguna manera tu mente sabe que son posibles, a pesar de que nadie lo sepa. Inconscientemente sabes que ese gran sueño que tienes es algo posible, que no está fuera del reino de este mundo.

No generes creencias de temor, de angustia, de inferioridad; porque ellas te arrastrarán contigo. El mundo te ofrecerá exactamente aquello que en lo que creas, aquello que desees. Si hasta ahora has fracasado, tal vez te convenga revisar si (1) deseas verdaderamente algo, si (2) tienes las creencias apropiadas o si (3) estás esforzándote de la mejor manera posible.

Puedes leer el articulo completo aquí, en el blog llamado PoderMental111.

Setting off Serendipity Bombs (F4T)

While researching at my job I stubled upon Medium, a new invitation-only social network. 

Social networks have dramatically lowered the bar for sharing information with people around the globe. But has the bar slipped too low? That's the question posed by Medium, a new, invitation-only network from the creator of Twitter. In an attempt to wean us off of cat photos, Gangnam Style and Justin Bieber updates, Medium emphasizes longer form, carefully crafted content (like this story on growing up in Saudi Arabia) from users with something of deeper value to share. In many respects, it resembles a carefully curated blog network. While creators are limited to the select few, everyone can read and comment.

While looking through the site, I found an article I thought was very interesting called Designing for Serendipity: or Getting Lucky is Hard Work.  For a while I thought some people were lucky because they just were living in NYC and seeing which friends/acquaintances have succeeded the most, I started changing my thinking.  They were usually the ones that were willing to put themselves out there the most.

Here is a quick summary of the article, but I definitely suggest reading the whole thing. It is short and sweet.

- If you put yourself in many situations where you can get lucky, e.g. the equivalent of buying a bunch of lottery tickets, you’ll probably get lucky.

- When you work towards a goal, really hard, things start to happen.  Those things are not happening because of luck.  They are the result of the hard work and putting yourself out there.

- Serendipity bombs are those small things you do that can potentially spark a chain of reactions.  For example, if you own a small pottery company and you email 100 bloggers for a giveaway, chances are a handful will write back that they want to participate   That exposure may ultimately get you sales and a bigger fan base.

- Don't take it personal when people say you are lucky and don't acknowledge your hard work.  It will happen.  

Like one of my favorite quote says: "Work in Silence.  Let success be the voice."

You can read the entire article here.

Five Items To Help You Survive Winter

Being an island girl has taught me that, well, winter is not jam.  Over the years, I've found what are must-haves come this time of year.  Here I share my top five affordable items that, often overlooked, will make any bundled-up city girl a winter warrior.

I'm Too Old for This (Blogger Link-up)

A few weeks ago, I had one of those moments when I realized I was too old for something.  Not because I felt "old", but because I knew better thanks to my age.  Inspired, I decided to write a fun post on things I just didn't tolerate anymore.  

Since blogging is such a great way to share ideas and stories, I decided to reach out to one of my fave ladies to possibly start a blogger chain.  So, today, none other than the smart, inspirational and beautiful Georgina from Notes on Lifestyle by Georgina is participating.  Be sure to head over to her blog for more light-hearted wisdom!

So here it is.  If you are 21, I hope you find this helpful. You will get there. Trust me.

Things I am too old for:

Store-bought Shampoo

 Jut because Lea Michele is telling you to buy it, doesn't mean she is actually using it.

As I get older, I know there are small changes that I can make to my routine that would definitely make a difference in the long run.  Switching to a good shampoo is one of them.  Crappy shampoo damages the hair.  Yes, I'm talking about Pantene and friends. Basically anything you can get at your local Rite Aid.  They really do nothing positive to your hair.  My hairstylist cringes by the mere utter of these brands.  When you are out next time, walk into Sephora and get something good.

Fake Designer Anything

Just because the pattern looks similar, doesn't mean that your GOACH bag looks fashion forward.

I remember when I was 19 and I went to NYC to visit my aunt for Thanksgiving.  My cousin made me go to Chinatown with her because she knew a friend of a friend of friend that had gone to this tiny little secret store to get a "truly authentic-looking Louis".  Entering that little vault gave my heart palpitations.  I don't know if it was the fear of being locked in there forever (because, trust me, NO ONE would have found us) or the dozens of fake bags wrapped in plastic that made me say, NEVER AGAIN.  The next time you see me with a Chanel bag, yes, it will be real.

All-Nighters

Just because your friends are going to a rave in Red Hook, at 4am, doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Well duh.  Right?  In college, going out until 5am wasn't crazy, it was the norm. Actually, I could have done better considering I went to school in New Orleans and last call didn't exist. Not to mention hangovers lasted a few hours instead of a full day (like they do now).  But no, thank you, I kinda like my mornings now and fully taking advantage of the weekend. I like waking up, making breakfast, and doing what adult women do. Errands and shopping. And watching HGTV.

...

If you are a blogger and in your late 20s+, feel free to take this theme and write your own post.  Please, if you do, do link back to my blog.  Would love to read them.

Now...Things I will never be too old for?  Way too many. One day I'll write them down.

Smart is The New Skinny: Lean In Takeaways

I have been wanting to start a new series for a long time but one that would provide advice and encouragement to whoever stumbled upon this blog.  It is safe to say that now that I am in my very late twenties (Lord, have mercy) my interests have changed.  As I keep growing financially and professionally, I've naturally become more interested in LEARNING.  Adding value to my life, even if by reading a short article, has now become more of a priority. I think a big part of being a successful woman is constantly feeding your brain and finding inspiration from people to look up to.  And let's face it, smart is sexy.

So, moving forward I will be posting about what inspires me to become a better version of myself and, hopefully, you can find a little inspiration along the way too.

~

My very successful friend (Wharton-grad, marathon runner, world traveler and finance maverick, to name a few) recently sent an email with a list of takeaways from Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, who is non other than the COO of Facebook.   The email read:

A few words from my friend, Sheryl….

Enjoy!

For all of us:

-Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.

-When I don’t feel confident, one tactic I’ve learned is that it sometimes helps to fake it. Research backs up this "fake it til you make it" strategy. One study found that when people assumed a high-power pose (for example, taking up space by spreading their limbs) for just two minutes, their dominance hormone levels (testosterone) went up and their stress hormone levels (cortisol) went down. As a result, they felt more powerful and showed a greater tolerance for risk.  A simple change in posture can lead to a significant change in attitude.

-You have to take opportunities and make an opportunity fit for you, rather than the other way around. The ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have.

-I recommend adopting two concurrent goals- a long term dream and an eighteen-month plan.
  -A long term dream does not have to be realistic or even specific. It may reflect the desire to work in a particular field or to travel throughout the world.
-Typically, my eighteen month plan sets goals on two fronts. First and foremost, I set targets for what my team can accomplish. Second, I try to set more personal goals for learning new skills in the next eighteen months. It's often painful, but I ask myself, "How can I improve? If I am afraid to do something, it is usually because I am not good at it or perhaps am too scared to even try.

-The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any. Do not wait for power to be offered. 

-Done is better than perfect. Aiming for perfection causes frustration at best and paralysis at worst.

For the girls:

-One reason women avoid stretch assignments and new challenges is because they worry too much about whether they currently have the skills they need for a new role. Women need to shift from thinking "I'm not ready to do that" to thinking "I want to do that- and I'll learn by doing it."

-When negotiating, "Think personally, act globally." I have advised many women to preface negotiations by explaining that they know that women often get paid less than men so they are going to negotiate rather than accept the original offer.

-When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated, and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects, or even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier. 

-Men need to support women and, I wish it went without saying, women need to support women too.

For the boys:

-Men of all ages must commit to changing the leadership ratios. They can start by actively seeking out qualified candidates to hire and promote. And if qualified candidates cannot be found, then we need to invest in more recruiting, mentoring, and sponsoring so women can get the necessary experience. 

-As more women lean into their careers, more men need to lean into their families. We need to encourage men to be more ambitious in their homes.

Research over the last forty years has consistently found that in comparison to children with less-involved fathers, children with involved and loving fathers have higher levels of psychological well-being and better cognitive abilities.

~Alicia~

Definitely adding this book to my cue.

Happy Friday. xo