Top five things I learned from going to Electric Zoo:
5. If you thought the Ashton Kutcher trucker hat trend was annoying, then you have not seen a meathead in a neon colored muscle tee with inspiring words such as "Drop Beats, Not Bombs", "Electro Music is My Religion", or the oh so romantic "I Came Here to F*ck".
4. The drug of choice for the youngsters is Molly. How do I know? It was written on the shirts/sunglasses/shorts/thongs of 80% of partygoers.
3. Belly shirts, bra tops and pasties are a privilege, not a right. Yes, I'm looking at you 160 pound, 5'3 white girl.
2. Baby Boomers had The Beatles, Generation X had Madonna, Generation Y had No Doubt and Millennials have Skrillex. Humanity as we know it is doomed.
1. See #2.