What Does Good Friday Mean To You?

Life and faith has taken a new meaning since I learned that my mother had cancer.  All my life I've heard the same sermon being told by priests.  "Jesus died for your sins."  That is the number #1 thing I dislike about the Catholic church.  There is so much guilt. Always.  It is all about how much you've sinned and how bad you should feel and how much you should repent.  But I digress...

For the first time, I feel like I understand the meaning of Good Friday.  On a day like today, Jesus died.  He was crucified on the cross that he himself carried.  He sacrificed his life for love.  That is what I think the meaning of Good Friday is: Everyone carries a cross sooner or later in life in the name of love.  The question is: What will your cross be?

Mama's Day

One of the hardest things in life would be to not have a mother, whether it is because she has passed, she abandoned you or simply because she is an absentee parent .  I have not dealt with either of these scenarios, which I am so thankful for, but I live far away from my mother and only see her a few times a year...sometimes in just two occasions for 14 days in total out of the year.  As much as I love NY and my life here, I think about the life she has back home, with my dad, and it hurst me that we are not closer.  It hurts that we haven't built so many memories in the past 5 years and I wonder what I can do to close that gap. Our love for each other has not been affected, of course. We talk every day and I think about her constantly and what she is doing, thinking, throughout the day.  Although she is far, she is very near to my heart and still guides me to this day.  I love her unconditionally and I am thinking of her today, el dia de las madres.  To all of the ladies out there celebrating with their mamas, enjoy and know how lucky you are.  To those who do not have her by their side, honor her and remember her.  Te amo, mama. 

My favorite pictures of her are the vintage ones I steal from her albums.  Mom on her first trip to Paris when she was just 21. 

Oh, and I know I've been a very, very absentee blogger.  After the Sandy fiasco, being homeless for two months and moving back into the city with not much (I had never owned furniture beyond my room at this point), I felt I just wanted to LIVE.  Not worry about anything.  But I really miss this creative outlet.

I just gave the blog a very quick and fresh facelift.  I promise I'll stay more on top of it.

Ten Years Gone

Then as it was, then again it will be 
An' though the course may change sometimes 
Rivers always reach the sea 

Blind stars of fortune, each have several rays 
On the wings of maybe, down in birds of prey 

Kind of makes me feel sometimes, didn't have to grow 
But as the eagle leaves the nest, it's got so far to go 

Changes fill my time, baby, that's alright with me 
In the midst I think of you, and how it used to be

 

Did you ever really need somebody, And really need 'em bad 
Did you ever really want somebody, The best love you ever had 
Do you ever remember me, baby, did it feel so good 
'Cause it was just the first time, And you knew you would 

Through the eyes an' I sparkle, Senses growing keen 

Taste your love along the way, See your feathers preen 
Kind of makes makes me feel sometimes, Didn't have to grow 
We are eagles of one nest, The nest is in our soul

Vixen in my dreams, with great surprise to me 

Never thought I'd see your face the way it used to be 
Oh darlin', oh darlin' 

I'm never gonna leave you. I never gonna leave 
Holdin' on, ten years gone 
Ten years gone, holdin' on, ten years gone

- Led Zeppelin